What do you call a journey that originates in an Estimate and ends in a Purchase Order? Slow poisoning.
Marketing is a good profession, with opportunity to flex the creative muscle, to try something new and actually see your work out in the real world. (How many of the IT guys can say that about the financial analytics software they are porting from Mainframes to a Windows server environment)
But it does come with one major torture inbuilt. A grand scheme by the powers that be to ruin the perfection of your day and its called – process overload a.k.a water boarding.
So this is how it goes -
1) You get an Idea!
2) You make a plan around the Idea – do the research get the numbers and present to the Plan to the Big guns!
3) Negotiations ensue – big guns get convinced – ready to roll
4) Brief given to agencies – plans finalised
Now the trouble starts
case in Point 1) You get the estimates – now is a 1 hour battle with en ERP buying system where you raise an Purchase request to get a PO
2) You can not start any work till you get the PO – and it takes longer than in takes Saturn to go around the Sun Once.
3) Now you get the PO
This isn’t the end – that was the PO for media buy – now you got to pay the creative agency and adaptation agency – two more Purchase requests to be raised.
As you can see its a cascading effect – much like idiocy itself.
That’s only the first part of it – the other is the unholiest concept of all that is unholy – TAT. The turn around time of a team/person is something like the devil power – an ability given by the corporate gods to slowly pierce your ear drums with a blunt nail, to move your ribs just so slightly apart and tickle your very heart.
Now don’t get carried away that a TAT means that the concerned has to do it in the time stated – say 48 hours. No no no that’s not what a TAT is; it’s the time after which they will even consider it for approval – and after at least three follow ups for good measure.
A TAT is exactly the time required (proven scientifically) to just be a minute longer than the limits of human patience.
Then comes the incorrigible buggers, the important yet completely unnecessary people in the approval flow. These are the keepers for an Old faith; the Faith of the corporate hierarchy! They will not approve till they are satisfied with the comments you have added
And they never write a mail to clarify – or call you for that matter. Nor will the get up and scream your name across the floor to clarify a concept so simple that a third grader would not have trouble understanding it.
Clarifying is not part of their Job (neither is meddling with or work- but that’s a different rant for another post!), No Sir! they will just reject he PR.
Oh jolly good – now you have to start over again….
This my friend is what one calls death by processes – and I am just another poltergeist flying through the dungeons of corporate processes!
-AP
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